GUEST POST: Ways to Deal With Sibling Rivalry Among Twins

Author: Andrea Gibbs

Sibling rivalry is something that most parents of twins will face at one point or another. Most parents of twins know that they are likely to have a rough time with their children fighting and arguing with each other. The main issue is that it’s hard to keep twin toddlers separated. These two twins are also so similar; they are going through similar stages of development and look so much alike that it’s all too easy for them to annoy each other by doing the same things.

Frequently, one twin will do something that closely resembles what the other twin has done, and then they will start fighting. There are just too many similarities between identical twins to keep them happy. They like the same toys, the same food and often want to do the same things. Sibling rivalry is indeed normal, but there are ways that you can help relax this rivalry and help your twins feel more special and liked than each other.

As a parent, learning the ways to deal with sibling rivalry is something that you need to know. It will give you the opportunity to deal with any problems that may arise, which otherwise can cause stress and tension within your family. Recognizing that sibling rivalry can be a problem can help you relax and enjoy times with your children more. Learning the ways how to deal with sibling rivalry can also help your children feel loved and special.

Additionally, it is also important that you understand how to deal with this problem because it will leave a mark on the relationship between your twins for many years to come. It is also important for them to learn how to get along with each other and, more importantly, how they can both love and appreciate each other.

Why Is It Important to Understand Sibling Rivalry?

Sibling rivalry is normal. Right from the moment that your twins are born, there will be rivalry between them. It is a natural part of their life, and people do not need to worry about it happening between twins simply because they are twins; it will happen with any brothers or sisters you have.

The fact that many parents have difficulty dealing with sibling rivalry between their twins does not mean that there’s something wrong with them or their children. The main issue behind sibling rivalry among identical twin toddlers is that they are hard to keep separate.

Luckily, dealing with sibling rivalry among twins does not have to be a nightmare. There are various ways that you can help your twins learn how to coexist without causing any problems between them. We are going to tackle some of these ways in this article.

Dealing With Twin Rivalry

There are a few ways that will help you deal with this problem. The following are some of the top suggestions that can help parents deal with sibling rivalry:

Help Them Get Along: As soon as you notice differences between your twins, you must offer some help to get them to get along. It is important that you take this slowly and don’t rush into it. You have to be cautious not to get too involved, or else they may end up getting jealous of each other and fighting more than they are already doing. You have to be sure that they understand their roles within the family and how important each of them is as individuals.

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You must help your children understand that they are both different people and respect each other’s differences. It will teach them that it’s good to be a little different from each other and that they don’t have to be so alike to be good friends. To make this work, you have to keep your children together as much as possible. You should try not to separate them when you are doing housework or driving your car, or even at night when you’re giving them their bath and before putting them in their beds.

Your twins need the opportunity to get used to living with each other for most of their day, so they will start fighting less. You can also try talking to them and explaining that they are very different people. You can talk about why they are different and give them advice on how to make it work. Show them the difference between everything they do, so they will understand that it’s not that bad to be different. You can also let them know what is good about being a lot alike.

Encourage Them to Express Themselves: You must let your twins know how much you love each of them, especially when there is sibling rivalry at hand. It will encourage your boys to show their affection for one another when things are hard for each of them in the family. You have to let them know that it’s ok for them to have feelings of embarrassment, angriness, and frustration when on one another. You have to let your children know that there are times when their relationship would be tested, but they must always remember the fact that they are brothers.

You have to take care of your sons’ needs, regardless of how different they may be from each other. It will help them feel loved, cared about, and appreciated for being different from each other. Additionally, it will help keep their feeling of togetherness in place because they know that both of you love them very much. Because of this, they will be motivated to learn how to get along with each other.

Be Fair: You should let each twin know that you are aware that you are likely to treat them differently. Whenever there is a major issue, both twins should know that they would not be treated differently simply because they were not alike. You need to be open-minded and try to be fair in your treatment of them. It is essential that the good things about each one of them are appreciated and that you take the time to see the differences between the two boys. 

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You have to let them know how much you love them and how important they are in your life when it comes down to it. You have to let them know that they are loved and good and valuable people even though they may be very different. You have to make it clear that they can trust you when you say that you love each of them, regardless of how much they might look alike.

Talk About It: It is essential that the twins talk about their differences to resolve the issue and so the tension can dissipate. You have to let your sons know all about their similarities, as well as the differences between them. You should also let them feel how important it is for brothers to get along, especially if sibling rivalry is on hand. You should also explain what is good about being similar despite your differences.

You have to teach your sons that it’s important to be kind and loving, even if they are very different from one another. You can also explain that they need to remember how much you love and care for them, no matter how different they may be from each other. By doing this, your twin boys will be motivated to reach out and make an effort to get along with each other. They will realize that they do have a lot in common when they are together.

The Long-Term Benefits

The best thing about working through sibling rivalry is that, in the long run, your twins will be better friends. You have to realize that if you had always treated them similarly and didn’t take the time to understand their differences, then they would not have understood each other’s feelings. That is why they couldn’t get along with each other and would always fight with one another.

When you make an effort to see their differences and appreciate them, your twins will be motivated to do so as well. They will also learn to value each other without going overboard and loving one another too much. It will show them that they might be different, but they are still very much the same. This way, they will develop their unique personalities and their unique relationships with each other.

Final Thoughts

Sibling rivalry can be fixed by talking about it, understanding what’s going on, and making an effort to make a mutual decision that benefits everyone involved. As you have seen from this article, there are some very good reasons brothers can fight and end up being enemies for life even if they share the same parents.

Author bio

I’m Andrea Gibbs Born, raised, and still living in New York. I’m a work-at-home mom

with a background in business development, strategy, and social media marketing. I’m a blog contributor at Montessori Academy to motivate and educate other parents about how they can get their children ahead of the game in school.


Author bio

Andrea Gibbs

I’m Andrea Gibbs Born, raised, and still living in New York. I’m a work-at-home mom

with a background in business development, strategy, and social media marketing. I’m a blog contributor at Montessori Academy to motivate and educate other parents about how they can get their children ahead of the game in school.


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